you call me pussy like it’s a bad thing

A few days ago, Inga asked why ‘pussy’ is often used in a degrading way when it’s such a popular item. That question reminded me of a story a male friend told me. When he was 13 he once hurled out another word for the female genitalia in front of his soccer coach (you know, the ‘c’-word?), who got really angry and shouted at him: “What did you just say?” When my friend shame-facedly admitted what he’d said, the coach went on: “Don’t you ever use a beautiful word like that like it’s something bad!”

But Inga’s question is actually very good. Why does it signify being weak, scared, cowardly etc? It might indeed be construed as being connected to “scaredy cat”(a sort of nice way of looking at it) but I haven’t found that explanation anywhere. According to Wikipedia it comes from an obsolete word, “pursy” that means being weak, but most places seem to connect it with the word “pussy” meaning “female” and also “effeminate boy”. Because femininity is connected with weakness and passiveness – things you want to define yourself from. When guys launch gay jokes on each other, why is it much worse to imply someone being penetrated than the other way around? Because, duh, it’s been that way since the Greeks made the distinction between erastes and eromenes.* It’s OK as long as you don’t behave like a girl, you pussy.

Fuck that.

I know of a girl who tried to launch using “pussy” in a more positive way, akin to “having balls”. Alas, it never caught on and it most likely never will. Still, it does bug me that being a “tomboy” is OK, but what parent fondly refers to her son as a “tomgirl” (or would that be a “sissy”? See my point?)?

Pussy pride, girls. We need it.

/agneta

*I am aware that some people think it’s all Dover’s invention, but never mind. If so, we believe it because it fits into our world view so point proven just the same.